Updated: May 31
Advocacy is like having a child; there is no reversing it because it's a passion driven by purpose. As an advocate, I have taken it upon myself to bring awareness to subjects deemed unconventional by South Sudan society. I must not shy away from these topics. In this article, I will share a few preventative issues that can help you have a successful relationship if you take the time to research the person first.
Five significant factors will make or break a marriage if the couple does not discuss them before entering a relationship. Talking about these factors is especially important in South Sudan as we foster a culture of assuming that what has always been the goal for marriage still applies.
Whether we agree, things are changing, and the best thing we can do to make the sailing relatively smooth is to adapt to the new era of humanity so that we are not left behind.
5 Factors that will make or Break a Relationship
1) Spiritual Well-Being: Couples must discuss and agree on the Spiritual upbringing of their children; this is vital, especially if the two future couple comes from different religious beliefs. Ask your prospective partner about their spirituality before agreeing to a life of spiritual turmoil.
2) Family & In-laws: Couples must also discuss and agree on how to conduct and approach in-laws. When the mother and father-in-law become old or illness strikes, who will care for them? Are you both willing to take care of each other parents? How about in the extended family situation? Are you and your family ready to take them in, and for how long? How many people can your family house at once, and in what circumstances? These are essential questions to consider before marriage. Homes have broken up because of extended families, so do not make an assumption.
3) Money Talk: Financial Responsible is a significant factor. Financial irresponsibility and disagreement are the leading causes of divorces or quarrels. Consider discussing whether both couples will work outside the house or one will stay home to raise the family. How about giving to the church, charity, or family members? Do you both agree on how to handle family finances? There are plenty of financial classes to learn how to become financially responsible for your future.
4) Kids are a Blessing: do not assume that your significant other wants to have children just because they desire marriage. Find out how many kids they want and discuss the possibility of not being blessed with children. Would that be an automatic divorce, or would you consider other options, such as adoption or bringing in another woman? What if the man is barren? Many of us advocate for Girl Child Education, which means more women will enter the workforce. The wife's desire and willingness to have children, a career, and take care of the household will be affected. Women's role in a marriage will no longer remain the same. Let's have an honest and open discussion.
5) Relationship and Sex. Sex is spiritual. Although it does not keep marriage, it's a significant part. Studies have shown that couples who have satisfying sex are happier. Make sure you both are willing to have this discussion and know if each other will work toward meeting one another sexual needs in the future.
No matter how much you like one another, if you ask these questions and the answer does not align with the life you want to build, it would be a mistake to carry on with the relationship, assuming that the individual will change their mind. People rarely change on these five topics.