Importance of Healthy Boundaries
Updated: Oct 16, 2021
Boundaries Violations; How do you know when someone has violated your boundaries?
Boundaries Violations will make you feel angry and taking advantage of. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. You can find out from "I Am my Mother's Wildest Dream" how allowing others to walk over me nearly destroyed me. I don't want you to find out late, so I am here to help you figure this out.
When setting boundaries, be careful not to Over Explain. Explaining is a courtesy, not a requirement. "NO" is a complete sentence and stick to it. It's normal to feel guilty even when we are doing the right thing and worse, society will respond by making us feel guilty but do whatever you can to work through it.
Remember that people will push back, especially those who have benefited from the lack of our boundaries. So, who are those people? They are the controller; they are unwilling to accept responsibility for their own life, they reject other taking responsibility for their own lives. They may or may not know they are crossing boundaries. They are the gaslighters. Keep them on a sponge.
How to Responding to Boundaries Violations:
You don't need to justify yourself, but be clear from the beginning. Proactively decide what you will tolerate and consider the consequences if they continue to violate your boundaries. Avoid intrusive questions or negative comments that make you uncomfortable.
Respond to boundaries violations with immediate consequences every single time and call out what they are doing safely. For example, "I notice you interrupted me when I start to express myself." Once you set your boundaries, hold yourself accountable by not Violating your Boundaries.
When I learned to set healthy boundaries, people who benefited from violating mine got mad and started calling me names. I did not stop setting or following my limits; instead, I decided to love them from a distance. Surprisingly, the ones that value me eventually fell in line and learned to respect my boundaries, but the others who didn't see the value in our relationship cut the tie. I started living a healthy lifestyle where I am not contradicting my values, desires, and needs. I became a PRIORITY in my life.
If you struggle to set boundaries as I did, read "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend and put your happiness first. You will feel the weight falling off of your shoulders. Own your life. You only have one!
THERE IS MAGIC IN LIVING YOUR TRUTH
Get a Copy of "I Am My Mother's Wildest Dream" here. http://bit.ly/NyajuokTongyikIAmMyMothersWildestDream
Nyajuok Tongyik Doluony